Who am I, really?

I imagine some of you must wonder what sort of gentleman I am... I would prefer to think of myself as a highly evolved individual with extremely refined manners.

For instance, I know my fine foods and am very particular about how they are presented. I always eat at the table, sitting upright, with a full place setting (I won't tell you what I think of people who find it acceptable to eat with their hands)...

Beverages should always be served in a crystal glass and consumed with poise (again, while seated in an appropriate fashion)...

I always eat what is offered me and never, ever seek out food items of my own accord or eat between meals...

When a meal is completed, I might recline ever so slightly while still seated in a polite fashion only if my hosts have first done so themselves...

("If anyone tells you differently, they are selling something...")